Falco peregrinus
Ah, the majestic swoop and nerve-scraping screech of these fine birds sends a cold shiver of delight through me. As I gaze upon these magnificent creatures I cannot help but think about how glorious it would be to have their wings stuffed and mounted upon a large helmet to frighten my enemies as they frighten the other birds of the airs. It's such a waste that we allowed chemicals like DDT to thin their numbers when we should have been going out there with clubs and slings and doing the job for ourselves. It says something about the lack of artisanal pride in this world.
Our scientists, for once, are making themselves useful and using their dark arts to return to life these proud and delicious sky ogres. In return, the Peregrines have offered their services as watch birds, patrolling the skies and frightening off sea gulls and other less glorious bird life from our airports and oil patches. While outsourcing the terrorizing of nature gives me pause, I'm happy to see that we have truly humbled these creatures and await the days when their numbers are high enough that I can order them braised in any restaurant of my choosing.
I Judge them: Worthy of Existence (unless we find new and way cool uses for DDT like dyeing the oceans pink)
1 comment:
That was incredibly entertaining.
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