Australian Giant Cuttlefish

Sepia apama


There is a lurking horror in the sea and its name is the cuttlefish. All cephalopods are the hated enemy of man and this one is no exception. With the power of instant camouflage and powerful eyes capable of focusing in our doom, these giant mollusks could wring the life out of our species if we are not careful. There are, however, a few things in our favour. First off, they are incredibly lazy. I'm talking Belgium lazy. All but five percent of their day is spent resting or siesta as they call it. When they feed, it is a grisly ordeal but we are safe as long as they maintain their nigh-perpetual slumber. Second, they live for only a year or two which means we have the edge as far as revenge is concerned. It is unclear how much vengeance they are able to pass to their young but it can't be as horrifying as having a long lived cuttlefish at the bottom of the ocean plotting against us. Finally and this is the kicker, we know where they mate annually and we have access to gallons of turpentine. I'm just saying.

I would also like to wear one on my head.

I Judge them: Worthy of Existence (until they start the attack but by the then it might be too late for us)